It's brilliant that you are so aware about SM - but don't forget to enjoy him too
It sounds like your harness is too big

that's bad that they didn't fit it for you - and have sold you the wrong size.
My boy is in the small, he is 8.8kg but he is only just into the small, it also fit my boy who was 11.4kg in the past. However I walk him and Lauren in the ezydog harnesses - but they don't have a front fastening ring
http://cavalier-gift-shop.org/cavali.../prod_216.html
My girls are around 7.3 to 7.5kg and they fit the extra small, it's perfect for them and does actually adjust just about enough to fit Tommy. [but they have girly colours LOL]
If you download the fitting instructions from that page they are really helpful. The top strap over the back does need to be quite short - Dog Training Ireland [whom Karlin is talking about] recommend it to be quite short on Cavaliers, so that it sits quite high up above the elbow, they find this works best.
Mine don't like the mesh harnesses as they don't like them being pulled over their heads, these are loose enough that it is not a problem
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