16th October 2005, 11:21 PM
I can't breathe, I can't stop crying or blaming myself! This morning my sweet Bea somehow escaped our fenced backyard and was killed by a car. This was the first (and last) time she had ever escaped. She was only ouside for a few minutes and then she was gone - forever. I feel so silly being so devestated but she was my constant shadow for the past 18 months. I haven't been to the hairdresser, the coffee shop, the bathroom :cry: or even to work without her, what to do, what to do. I thought this might be one place I could pour out my grief and be understood. These silly little dogs aren't like dogs at all, just little people in funny fur suits. I've lost dogs to old age and it is always painful, but never have I had my heart ripped out like this. My husband says she's in a better place but frankly, there is no better place than in my arms. I am so angry that something like this has happened. It was my duty to keep her safe and I failed miserably. I apologize for this posting but truly, I needed to write and vent. Please say a few blessings for my darling Beatrice. She was the perfect little girl.