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My Angel Ella

My heart breaks for you.
You gave Ella a beautiful life, and she returned the favour to you. You can never lose the wonderful times you spent together, and she will always be with you.
 
I am so very sorry to hear about Ella. She shounds as an amazingly brave little dog, and you have done all you could for her.
The kindest thoughts from Charlotte
 
:cry*ing: I'm still feeling so sad for you and it does seem so tragic in many of our eyes, but it's all different perspectives. I'm glad to see you are dealing with this so well, I would be in bits!!! Ella is free now, and at the shining Rainbow Bridge. Still thinking of and praying for you guys.:lotsaluv:

Thank you. I need prayers right now because I feel a heavy weight on my chest. I want to be strong and think things happen for a reason and she will always be with me but I miss her so much. I can't stop crying

Sent from my Droid using Tapatalk
 
Annie I am so sorry to read about Ella, I can smypathies with you & feel your loss. I am lying here crying my eyes out as I know the bond you two shared was a strong, binding, forever type of love. She is at peace now, she fought her battle & did it with the love, care & support from you-you both gave it everything.

You will see your Angel Ella at the bridge, until then mind yourself & take pride in all she achieved in her young short life because of you.

Sending you a big hug.

Lucille
 
Letter for Lynn and Blondie

I can't believe I was so lucky to have Ella in my life. I am truly touched by how many people also grew to love her. I hope Lynn (Blondiemaster) does not mind I post this here since she said it was ok to add to my blog but this was one of the sweetest things and since she has been such a big support on CavalierTalk, I thought it should be shared here.

"Sweet Ella,




I've gotten to know you a little bit through your mommy,

and even though I never met you, you were my best Cavalier

buddy on the forum. I shared your story and your name often with my friends

and enjoyed reading all the stories about you.

Your mom loved you very much, she was on the forum all the time learning and reading

about you and your breed, finding ways to make your life better and more comfortable.

We all learned so much from your story. You lived with this horrible disease called

SM, which my puppy has too.. yet you were so strong and brave and loved going

to the doggie bar and hanging out with your mommy, still enjoying days in the park.

When I read the horrible news on the Cavalier forum about your illness, I checked the forum ten times a day for updates, until I saw the last news that Anne had decided it was time to set you free. I was in the car from upstate NY with my boyfriend, and read him your Mom's message.

In the middle of the message the tears were flowing and I don't think he understood much else of what I said. We stopped the car, and even my boyfriend shed a tear for you coz he

felt how unsettling it was for me. You are a symbol for all cavaliers with SM and I could feel your mommy's worries and pain as if they were mine. Blondie was in the car with us too and I know se must've felt something cause she was very quiet the whole drive home.

I then quietly read all the other messages that were left for you and I can tell you: you must've touched so many hearts and souls. Never before have I seen such sadness and so many messages there. And though I know that for us, this is all so so sad:

I know, for you, sweet Ella, it is not. I know you understand the flow of life and death better than us humans do. And I know that you do not see it as something frightening or horrible.

You are now running at the bridge with Charly and all the other cavaliers that recently passed as well as Anne's family who is waiting for you at the bridge and will love you and hug you while your mommy is still hanging around with us for a little while.

Run free little angel, and keep an eye on my Blondiemonster while you are up there too


Love
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SvGu6PdHNRs/Td1EpToih4I/AAAAAAAAA98/MCODHu7-OcY/s1600/blondie+and+lynn.JPG

Lynn and Blondie"

There are many here that are playing with who I call Angel Ella in Rainbows Bridge and I hope she will one day be able to smile at me again!
 
My Angel Ella - given her wings 2nd May 2011

I wrote a long post then erased it but might write more. I am overcome with emails, replies to her post on the other forum with her being sick and to help. I ask that one be closed and people say their peace here. I will email each one of you later but I don't want to erase messages and sometimes it's hard to fight the tears. I truly believe Ella touched so many and knowing that gives me some peace. She went through so much yet, would never lose her spirit. In the short life she had, she has brought me friends throughout the world and she will live in my heart forever. I will continue her blog www.fightforella.blogspot.com but this is something from a previous post about why I wanted a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

PS. Here last weekend was at the beach (her favorite place). Maybe there was a reason for that. Maybe there is a reason for everything but I know she will be looking down with Rupert and others at Rainbows Bridge.

Why Did I Want a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel?




I could say that Cavalier King Charles Spaniels are the best breed, but a more accurate statement is they are the best breed for me. My cousin has a weimaraner but she runs marathons and is active which did not run in the family. That dog is perfect for her. Could I see her with a Cavalier, no. Then there are the dogs that have functions, like police dogs, working dogs on farms, the hunters, watch dogs, etc. None of those fit my need.



I have always been in love with dogs. I used to draw the same dog over and over again when I was young. It just so happens that the dog looked exactly like Ella. Maybe I got the picture from the move Lady and the Tramp, or maybe I knew something about the future dog that would steal my heart. When I searched for a dog, I did not look for someone who had that image. Even though I think they are beautiful, I had a different reason for wanting one. I needed a dog that would show me the affection that I needed. I wanted a dog that would be by my side and want to lay with me in my lap and by my side. I have said that my choosing to have a dog was because I was in a difficult place and depressed. Someone (I don't think of her as a dog) that loved me unconditionally would be just what I needed. That might sound selfish but it was a mutual bond that I can not even describe.


When I was young I went through my parents divorce and it was extremely difficult for me. I got my first dog as a birthday present. Okay buying a child a dog may not be the best decision because Flip (my cocker spaniel) soon became my parents responsibility. However, there were times when I wanted to hide. I would hold on Flip and every thought would make things okay.


When I read about Cavaliers and there eagerness to please, show affection, complete love was what made me know this was the breed for me. Yes, Sex and the City, made me familiar with them, but it was not the social status of this breed or anything else that was my thoughts. When I went to see the puppies from a breeder I researched, I met Ella. She instantly came to me. She was not playing with the others but fell asleep in my arms and on my chest. I heard her heartbeat, I felt the bond and I fell instantly in love. Ella was not one of the puppies for sale. Actually the breeder was going to keep her for breeding. I have said God gave me Ella and maybe another reason was because she having SM would have saved others from this condition. I guess it is more complicated but she was my angel.


I was instantly lightened with joy. I had a purpose to live, and I will always be thankful to her. As I look into her eyes, I see that closeness. I feel so strongly that I sometimes can see to her soul. A dog having a soul maybe a stretch but there is something unique about dogs.

I have read stories and heard from friends about dogs having a sixth sense. I know personally, Ella will know when I am feeling a certain way and come to me for comfort. How can a dog sense that. The amazing tales of dogs and cats and knowing things before they occur. Recently you may have read the story of Ollie the cat at a nursing home who could tell before a person died. Scientist might say it is because of certain smells etc. but any explanation still remains that this story shows that the future is known before. I have a friend that a lab found a spot of cancer and saved her owner before anything was detected. There are many stories of animals knowing people are sick before.

What about the ability to tell an earthquake is about to happen. Coming home several months later and miles away. So many stories but one that stole my heart was the story of HACHIKO. I watched the Richard Gere movie on this legendary dog in tears. It is a tail of devotion and a bond I feel with Ella. http://www.northlandakitas.com/hachiko.htm tells the legend of this dog that even after his owners death, would go everyday at the same time to the train station awaiting the return of his beloved friend.


I really suggest reading this or watching the movie. If you thought Marley and Me was a tear jerker, then it is even more.














To sum up my story of Ella is pretty simple. I wanted a dog to have a bond with. To share a mutual affection and love that I so long desired. I look at her everyday and I feel it. Some people thing of dogs as pets, some family, some I hate to think of but I think of Ella as a love that I have in my heart that will live on forever.




***I've copied all the posts across from the original thread http://www.cavaliertalk.com/forums/showthread.php?37949-Please-help!-Ella-still-not-well./page11
so that it is all together as a wonderful memorial to a very special dog ***

I'm sorry. She is gorgeous.
 
How Can I Profit from the Example of Ella

I sometimes think that Ella knew that her CM/SM was weighing on me. I feel if I would have been stronger she still would be with me. I know she did not like me upset when she was here and she would not want that now but it is still so hard. Today has been a tough day so I thought I would post my recent post.

[h=3]How Can I Profit From the Example of Ella[/h]

“Here lies DASH, the Favourite Spaniel of Queen Victoria


By whose command this Memorial was erected.
He died on the 20 December, 1840 in his 9th year.

His attachment was without selfishness,

His playfulness without malice,

His fidelity without deceit.

READER, if you would live beloved and die regretted, profit by the example of DASH.”















My life will never be the same since after My Angel Ella came into my life. I have learned so much from her.






"Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, Filling an emptiness we don't even know we have."


Thom Jones


Ella was not just a dog. She was angel that was sent to me. She has taught me about loving one more than yourself and that I could ever imagine. She taught me about forgiveness. She taught me how to make someone’s day just by showing you care. We will forever be connected because she will remain in my heart forever. I believe that even though she is not physically here, she is an angel looking down on me and everyone. So I will ask myself:




What Would Ella Want



She would want to run after the birds.

She would want to sniff each flower.


She would want to great each person and dog with a smile and waiting for them to pet her.


She would want to run around in the park with her fur friends.


She would want to run on the sand in the beach.


She would want to run after a tennis ball and wait for me to come to her to throw it again 


She would want to spread across the whole bed like a princess.




I could say so many things but she never asked for them. I just knew these are things she enjoyed. The only time she would get the “please mom, I don’t want to” action was when we were at the beach. We slept in a bedroom that was by itself. The upstairs was where all the action was including *cough* kitchen. She wanted to be around everyone and even if they were going to sleep, she wanted to make sure she was there and not missing anything. She would sit by the door impatiently wanting to go back. She even scratched to door with her paw, looking up at me with those sad eyes.







We left the beach at 5am the Monday after Easter to return back to work in Charlotte. She immediately got sick in the car. She was running on the beach Sunday but that would be her last run on the sandy beach. The last time she would chase shells in the breaking waves. I had no idea that would be the last time she smiled at all.






That Monday she did not get better and she did not hog the bed that night, nor did she end up on top of my head and pillows. I woke up to her on the bathroom floor. I took her to the Vet Tuesday morning. She came home because they thought it was a bug. She still did not eat and again even though she always is close by, she was on the floor again. The next day when I took her back to the vet, I did not know that when she would return home, it would be her spirit.






I think Ella got what she wanted, a weekend at her favorite place before it would be her time to say goodbye.






I never thought about it that way until now. I feel like Ella was sent to me as an Angel to help me through some hard times. She saved my life and that is why I wanted to do everything I could to save hers. It seems like it was before her time, but maybe there was a reason she felt it was her time to go back to Heaven and help me and others from there.






Maybe she did not want me to see her struggle. Sometimes I feel like I was losing strength and I get so upset with myself. It can weigh on you emotionally to not know what the future holds. I loved and still love her so much that I wanted to be the one to have the pain instead of her.






Would Ella want that? Would she want me to be scared of losing her? Would she want to see the sadness in my eyes that she came to me to change?






No. She would not want that because that was her whole reason she found me. It does still hurt and the pain is still raw but I have to think of everything she taught me.






What did I learn from her?





More to come…


 
Sometimes I feel like I was losing strength and I get so upset with myself. It can weigh on you emotionally to not know what the future holds. I loved and still love her so much that I wanted to be the one to have the pain instead of her.

Would Ella want that? Would she want me to be scared of losing her? Would she want to see the sadness in my eyes that she came to me to change?


/QUOTE]

As you know, I've been feeling this way with Sydney's illness. I know it's not the same as Ella, but emotions are emotions and you can't help how you feel. Sometimes I have to leave the house so Sydney doesn't see how upset or anxious I am. When he senses my pain, I see him feeling worse. Just hold onto all the good. Cry if you need to. Everyone here will be there for you. I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

In My Heart
I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too.
I think of you in silence. I often speak your name.
Now all I have is memories, and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake, with which I’ll never part.
God has you in his keeping.
I have you in my heart.
 
It was Ella's birthday a couple of days ago and it's coming up on one year since she went to rainbows bridge. I am so sad and cry for her.

Ella, I miss you so much that my heart aches for you. I wish I had your strength. I love you sweet girl.
 
Anne, I'm crying with you and I uderstand the ache you feel in your heart.
Thinking of you with tears in my eyes and love in my heart.
 
Anne, I'm crying with you and I uderstand the ache you feel in your heart.
Thinking of you with tears in my eyes and love in my heart.

Thanks Joyce. I feel for you and Sydney. I hope she is with him and we both will reunite one day. It does get a little easier but I'm feeling the emptiness this week. I read about how you feel for Sydney and i cry with you too.
 
Dear Anne, I didnt know about Ella's birthday. I hope that as time has passed, you can celebrate her. She gave you her all, and you the same to her.

I believe she sent you little Elton. And he is a true companion. You needed him, but HE needed you just as much.

It's okay to grieve...and cry and remember your sweet girl. But remember the treasure you have in Elton, as he was the gift you've been given. I know he will never replace Ella, she was too unique for that to happen. But you can carry her memory forward in educating others about CM/SM and giving little Elton the love that he deserves. Ella's memory goes on in all you do.

You are a good woman Anne, and a great momma. Don't ever doubt that. Hugs and prayers for peace for you.
 
Anne just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. I can see Ella up at rainbow bridge pain free and enjoying all those things you mentioned. You will be reunited with her one day. In the meantime cherish the sweet memories and your boy Elton, who I believe Ella sent to you to help you get through this loss. Hugs!
 
I can't believe it has been a year allready. My heart aches for you.

This allways makes me cry but this poem is lovely


  • I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
  • I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.
  • I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
  • "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
  • I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
  • You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
  • I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.
  • I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
  • I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
  • I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
  • I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
  • I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said " it's me."
  • You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
  • I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
  • It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
  • To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
  • You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
  • In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
  • The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
  • and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
  • And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
  • I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
  • I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
  • Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me
 
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