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Sorry!, a sad thread.

J

JudyG

Well-known member
I've just been reduced to tears while reading a thread on another animal site about someone who's taken there beloved dog to be pts today due to a terminal illness. When my last dog Ollie ( a Tri ) had a heart attack in 2001, I rushed him to the vet & there was nothing they could do! I agreed to have him euthanised there & then to stop the suffering. I was alone as my husband was at work, kids at school & I was so distraught I left him there, jumped in the car & cried all the way home. For years after I was wracked with guilt because I was too cowardly/upset to stay! I know now that however difficult it will be, Maddy (or my 2 cats) will never be alone come the day this should happen - Gosh I'm crying now, silly!!! How do others cope with this situation? Judy x
 
Oh Judy-- I have almost the same exact story-- we rescued an english cocker pup in November of 1984-- in April of 1999, she was dying of kidney failure and I was all alone and I left her at the vet to be pts. I was shocky and balling my eyes out. But- I will never do that again. I've since learned that if you are there, vets do it asap and there suffering ends sometimes much sooner if you are a witness to it. I think it would be a better passing to have someone you love hold you. -- ok, now I am crying
 
I know just what you mean. When my family's little toy poodle FeFe was about 13 years old (she was my dog of a lifetime), she had congestive heart failure, and she had gotten an infection in her mouth and she couldn't extend her tongue to drink that morning. We took her to the vet and he kept her all day. A few hours later, he called us and told us that he thought the only real alternative was that she be PTS given her age and weakness. He didn't think she would make it through an antibiotic treatment.

She was under sedation and had an IV at the time he called, and he said she was already sleeping and she probaby wouldn't know we were there if we did come, so he recommended that we not come. He said she would just go on sleeping and he would put the drug in through the IV. (It was a long time ago, so I may be a little murky on the details.) I was about 21 or 22 years old at the time, and I foolishly followed his advice and didn't come until after he put her to sleep to pick up her body. I think about that often and regret it very strongly. I could have held her in my arms and I think she would have known that she was in my loving arms when she passed. Now I'll never know if she was really already asleep or whether he was just trying to make me feel better about it. He would have had a crying girl in his office, no doubt, but I would have felt a lot better about it if I had been there. I was beside myself when my dad and I went to pick her up later that day. I already regretted my decision, and I still do 25 years later. It was a lesson learned and I will never let that happen again without holding my dog in my arms.

Ok, now I'm bawling at work. Good thing I have a door on my office. She was such a truly angelic and beautiful dog. She never bit anyone in her life, and as far as I can remember, she never growled at anyone either. She was the soul of patience around us kids and then the grandkids. And even when she was almost blind and deaf, she would wag her little tail and slowly come to me like I was her favorite person in the world. She was my lifetime dog and I feel like I let her down in the end.
 
We had to go to the emergency vets at 3am when Tarmac was having trouble breathing. Although we knew he had a murmer, he had never showed any symptoms and was not on any meds.

The vet was a bit worried about his condition and was giving him some tablets and an injection when he collapsed.

Shirl and I were around him while the vet tried to bring him back.

Guinness was on the floor.

He passed on the table.

I don't think that there was any question at all, for us.
Shirl cuddled him on the back seat (I think) and we drove home.
He laid on our bed for the rest of the night. We stoked him alot. Guinness could see him and smell him.

The next day I took him to the vets (out of surgery time) for him to go to the crematorium - along with his blanket and a biscuit. We have him in our cabinet, his name and nickname are on the box - and his collar is sat against it.

Actually we were impatient about getting 'him' back.
And have already looked into local pet crematorium that we can take our loved one to - and hopefully pick up later - as this did cause us some concern.
 
Even reading about this brings fresh tears to my eyes - I can't believe how fresh the pain of loosing my beloved collie, Brandy, is still! I went from what appeared to be a happy, healthy collie, to having to make that difficult decision in less then 24 hrs - One night we went to bed around and Brandy was fine, during the night she had a stroke, and when I awoke the next morning I found her laying nearly unresponsive next to my bed. After a couple of hours of trying to treat her, I realized it was to late, and made that hard choice to have Brandy put to sleep. I was lucky to have a close friend who was with me as Brandy crossed the rainbow bridge, she drove with me to the crematory as I said my final fairwells to Brandy's body, but even now, over a month since Brandy passed away, fresh tears of pain and grief wash my face as I type this!!! I think the hardest choice someone ever has to make is putting one of their furkids to sleep to end suffering!!!!! But the joy they bring into our lives, no matter how long they're with us, makes the pain all worth while!
 
This IS a sad thread! I've only had to pts one of my pets, my cat Grace, and as hard as it was, I held her until the end so she wouldn't be scared. She didn't like many people (I adopted her from a shelter and I think she was abused...she was quite the biter!) but I was one of the few that she trusted, so I knew that she would need me there with her. I was a huge mess, but I am so glad I was there with her, and when the time come again :cry*ing:, I will be there until the end for all of my "kids".
 
I don't think it is ever easy... I had to put my cat down of 15 years ..I cried for a week. addison was such a big part of my life. Now my little guys ( cavs) are .
 
In September I had to PTS my 12 year old girl. Its the first dog Ive had to make that decsion for and I still feel soooo guilty. I know I did the best thing for her as she suffered from a large tumour and was failing daily, but still feel bad. I was with her all the time while my hubby went completely to pieces ( which shocked me ). I was glad I was holding her and singing to her...'you are my sunshine'. I sing it to all my babes all the time. I tear- up whenever I read about someone having to have a precious babe PTS as I know what they are going through.I will be with all my babes right to the end.
 
I have only had to make that desision twice myself, the first time was my foundation dog Chad, every single one of my dogs is descended from him, he was 10 and had been in a bad way heart wise for about 3 months but was happy and ticking over quite nicely, then one morning he just didn't want to get up, we had to carry him outside, the look he gave me just said it all really. Sadly the vet I trusted the most didn't have a slot free until the evening, that actually helped us, we were prepared in a way, I was pregnant with the twins at the time I remember. We took him and he passed away peacefully in my arms whilst my OH, the vet and myself all broke our hearts :(

Second time was my dear sweet Dreamer, my lifelong ambition realised in her, she was my first fully homebred Crufts qualifier (I bred both her parents) A fox got into our shed and knocked all sorts of chemicals over, Dreamer being the nosy so and so she is spotted the shed door open and invetsigated, drinking from the pool of spilt chemicals we later found out. Over the next couple of days she was being sick and losing weight at an alarming rate, we did everything possible and by the time we realised I had spotted her coming out the shed and simply shut the door behind her without looking inside, gone into the shed and found the pool of spilt chemicals it was far too late, she was in renal failure and looked like a walking skeleton, my vet gave me something to give her at home and she passed away peacefully in my arms surrounded by her Mum, Dad, litter brother and sister:(:(

OK, I can barely see the keyboard now :( :(
 
I'm sorry if I've stirred up sad memories for you all! It's good to know that we all basicaly think along the same lines though. It's also good to know that however difficult & sad it has been to be with your pet at the end, not one of you would have changed that! Your comments have made me determined to be with all my pets at the end if possible. On a lighter note, I envisage them being with me for a very long time yet, infuriating me, making me laugh, costing me a fortune & giving me loads & loads of love :).
 
JudyG said:
I'm sorry if I've stirred up sad memories for you all! It's good to know that we all basicaly think along the same lines though. It's also good to know that however difficult & sad it has been to be with your pet at the end, not one of you would have changed that! Your comments have made me determined to be with all my pets at the end if possible. On a lighter note, I envisage them being with me for a very long time yet, infuriating me, making me laugh, costing me a fortune & giving me loads & loads of love :).
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Aw! Yes it was sad typing it all out and remembering what happened, HOWEVER, I then started thinking back to all the GOOD times and the fun we had, some incredibly happy and pleasant memories indeed, I have 'flu right now and thinking about them has cheered me up so no harm done!
In a way, losing a pet is harder than losing a relative I think, as your pet is your constant companion, they give so much and ask for so little in return, in my case both those dogs live on through the others I have and that's quite some achievement I feel, it's funny to see one of the dogs doing something and suddently think "Chad/Dreamer" used to do that! :hug:
 
the way i see it is that you spend all your time with your pet, look after it and love it, so i think you should be there at the end, i stayed with daisy and cuddled her as they put her to sleep, it was very hard and i miss her very much, but i could never have not been there for her.
 
Cathryn said:
In a way, losing a pet is harder than losing a relative I think, as your pet is your constant companion, they give so much and ask for so little in return, in my case both those dogs live on through the others I have and that's quite some achievement I feel, it's funny to see one of the dogs doing something and suddently think "Chad/Dreamer" used to do that! :hug:
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I've always felt the same. I had to make the decesion to pts my basset. I didn't think I could be in the room at first, but I changed my mind and held her as she passed. It was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. I had lost my Grandfather just before this and I cried more about my dog, and I felt sooooo guilty about that. I couldn't stop crying over the dog, my son was 2 at the time and he just kept saying, "it's OK mommy, you don't have to cry." Of course that made it worse, I think it was 2 weeks straight nonstop. It's still such a sore spot, 10 years later.
 
Gee, I thought I was the only one harbouring guilt over this matter. I too did the same thing with my cat Shadow. I had him for 18 years. The time had come where I had to make a decision. I took him to the vet and left him there. I couldn't bear to watch, plus my brother told me he stayed with his dog and that it was awful to watch. He wouldn't do it again.

I can still hear the vet tech telling Shadow, don't worry I'll stay with you. I with NEVER do that again. I also should have went back for his ashes. I regret that everyday, geesh, now I'm crying.
 
Though I'll quite happily handle any live animal , drawing the line at large insects like cockroaches and locusts, though, I can't touch anything dead; even fish shop fish. Therefore when I had one of my springers put to sleep (three days after the other died at home), I couldn't bear to touch her, but was there, while a nurse, she knew, held her. I found this very distressing, so the next time, with Benji, my collie cross, I asked them to give him deep sedation, while I stroked him, then left the room while they continued. Because of my phobia, this is the course I would take in the future.
 
With the absolute exception of my children, I agree about pets coming before relatives, glad I'm not alone in this, feels a bit naughty to be saying it though :eek:.
 
Scouty girl, what have I started here . My threads are going to be avoided in future :D It's good to know we're all not so different & sometimes it's a bad experience that helps us to change things for the better! Judy x
 
I had to have my 10 YO sheltie pts about 6 years ago and I stayed in the room while it was done. He looked up at me the whole time and I could tell he was glad I was there. It was heartbreaking for me, but I have to tell you it is amazing how quickly and peacefully he went. If only we could have the same choice when it is our time!
 
Originally Posted by Cathryn
In a way, losing a pet is harder than losing a relative I think, as your pet is your constant companion
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I couldn't agree with this more.. It will be 7 weeks tomorrow since I lost my baby boy Jack (pictured above in my id photo). He was not even 2 years old when he passed very suddenly with heart failure.

It was so strange, because it was a Thursday morning and I actually had the day booked off work to go to a doctors appointment. Thinking back now, it was like I was meant to be there that morning. If it had have been any other day, I would have been at work - and not come home until lunch, at which time he would have been gone for over an hour.

Even though it was soul destroying to hold him in my arms when he left me, I am so glad that I was here for him and was able to cuddle and talk to him as he took his last few breaths. I didn't even have time to get him to the vet, he was gone in less than a minute - it was that sudden.

Those who understand, say the pain will ease with time. I don't ever remember crying this much about anyone or anything before. I know some people may think thats a very extreme thing to say - but its true.. Some people probably think Im a bit mad, and I have heard people say that he was 'just an animal' - in my opinion, this is one of the most ignorant things anybody could say to an animal lover.

I try to take comfort in the thought that hopefully he felt some peace in knowing that I was there and holding him (even though I was nothing more than a hysterical mess!) It was the most dreadful and helpless situation I have ever been in, but looking back - I wouldn't change the fact that I was with him for the world.

OK - Now sobbing uncontrollably :(
 
Originally Posted by Cathryn
In a way, losing a pet is harder than losing a relative I think, as your pet is your constant companion
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I'm another one who agrees with this, and always felt guilty about it! I remember as a little girl being devastated when my pet mouse died, and then not really being upset when my great grandma died. I know that's a little odd since it was "only" a mouse and not a dog, but I loved those little mice! My poor parents, shelling out who knows how much money to take my little 99 cent mouse Snowflake to the vet :luv:

My pets have always been such an important part of my life, and I've bonded with them more than I've bonded with most people I know. They are always there for you and are so loyal, which is why I am always so sad when they leave. I felt like something was "wrong" with me since I've always been much more upset when my pets die...glad to know I'm not alone!
 
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