Oh boy -- this is tough for you. I am glad you wrote in because your dog (and family
) does need help with this. The behaviour you are seeing is not normal at all and very worrying.
You have a situation that is getting to a very serious level and it needs to be assessed by a professional trainer and also needs to be first checked by a vet.
The starting point with any constantly growling (and worse a biting) dog -- especially in this breed where there is a serious widespread illness that causes pain, called syringomyelia -- is to check for medical causes first for such aggression. You need to get her to her vet, explain what has happened, and have him/her check for any possible signs of pain. Can you let your vet know about the problem of syringomyelia in the breed -- it is sadly, widespread and the kind of pain it creates can cause aggression in some cavaliers. There's info at
www.smcavaliers.com,
www.cavalierhealth.org and at this site for vets as well as pet owners:
http://www.veterinary-neurologist.co.uk/faq.htm
If your dog might possibly have this condition, then she needs to see a neurologist and your vet can refer you to one. There may be medications or surgery that could help the pain that could be at the root of the aggression, but this is est assessed by a neurologist IF your vet thinks this is a likely possibility. If your cavalier on the other hand doesn't seem to have pain as the base cause for her aggression, then you'll need to takes steps to deal with this behaviour right away through a professional trainer for advice and guidance. Even the most experienced dog owners would have trouble managing this on their own and it really really does need a certified trainer. You can find one with the correct credentials and approach (CCPDT certified) at
http://www.ccpdt.org/index.php?option=com_certificants&Itemid=102
There are a couple of minor points to address and then several major ones.
The minor ones are the chewing -- though I know this seems frustrating. ALL puppies chew and the general rule for owning a puppy and really, a dog generally (as many will want to chew all their lives), is never ever leave anything in reach of the dog that you are not willing to have chewed. A dog your cavalier's age has been teething then developing her very critical jaw muscles and MUST have things to chew at her age - she is at the very height of her need and desire to chew right now and likely it will begin to settle down as she gets a bit older. If she hasn't been managed to keep items like memory cards and shoes etc safely out of reach -- and she hasn't been trained to focus her attention on excellent toys instead such as kongs, nylabones or the many dozens of safe chew toys on the market -- then these other items to her are fair game as she doesn't know they are off limits if 1) it's left lying around and 2) she hasn't been trained and redirected to chew acceptable items.
So that is a problem easily resolved: 1) everyone keeps valuable items out of reach of the dog and 2) she is trained instead to use some acceptable chew toys. This is actually critical to do right away as she easily could end up needing costly emergency surgery to address a blockage or intestinal puncture caused by these items -- any of which could be fatal to her.
You can find out all sorts of ways to manage her and train her to be the adult dog you want by working with a trainer and using the book After You Get Your Puppy, a FREE download available at
www.dogstardaily.com/free-downloads But this is ONLY for basics and is NOt a solution to your serious problem with growling and biting.
Now for the biting and guarding -- I don't know if these are directly connected given your information, but these are SERIOUS problems if she has bitten twice and MUST be addressed by a professional as they have accelerated to a dangerous point. You cannot risk your younger brother in particular suffering a bite and if you need a stick to get things away from her then this has become very serious guarding indeed. You CAN fix the guarding but the whole family has to work at this. To start you really do not ever ever want to forcibly separate or remove her from something she is guarding unless t is a serious threat to her health. Instead just leave her with it untll she abandons the item, eats it or whatever. Forcing her with a stick will only make the problem worse and worse over time because it reinforces all the reasons she currently guards (to keep people from taking things away). The book above goes into how to train a puppy from the start not to guard -- which is when this generally needs to be done (you train the puppy initially to swap one item for another -- so the puppy never fears that having an item taken away means something bad). The stage you are at now however, is beyond using that approach, and does require a certified trainer using positive/rewards methods ONLY (eg a CPPDT trainer). I cannot stress this enough -- the trainer market is full of idiots who will say you must punish her and this will make the problem worse and wrose, to the point where you may have no choice but to put down a fear aggressive dog.
That's the really critical point to make here -- that this is not just a minor behaviour issue but a quite serious one. Fear aggression from guarding -- if that is the only cause of her behaviour and her biting is directly connected to it -- will only continue to worsen unless addressed through careful training. A dog can then become very dangerous.
If for any reason your family don't feel they can manage this and instead think they should rehome the dog -- please do not consider anything like a pound or putting her to sleep but instead contact your regional cavalier rescue. If you are in the US, UK or Canada I have rescue contacts listed in the breed rescue section, pinned at the top. They WILL take a dog that has these issues and place such a dog where it can get the correct training. It does take a lot of work and will likely also require lifelong management so this isn't a problem that is easily resolved once a dog has reached the point where it is biting hence it is just very important to talk to a professional trainer and make a decision on how to proceed.
Please let us know what you hear back from your vet and what a professional trainer says.