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Things dogs must remember

TriTitch

TriTitch

Well-known member
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will scoot my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers-on.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator, dishwasher or trashcan.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

I will not take off while on leash to chase squirrels while Mommy is standing on a slippery grass slope.
 
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

That was so funny - can't even tell you which is my favorite - they are all just as good.

No doubt others will add one or two more the the list:D
 
We certainly can....

Shoes do not form part the staple diet of cavaliers.
Roofing felt contains little or no nutritional value.
Sliotars (hurling balls) contain formaldehyde mixed with wood pulp, if consumed expect it to reappear in three or four increments on the sitting room floor.
The foam from my bubble bath is not cavalier candy floss.
My utility room is not a doggy salon, sitting in front of the tumble dryer vent will not enhance the style of your butt but you will look very funny sitting there....
Puddlewater is not more flavoursome than the fresh bowl of tapwater we provide you with.
Licking the car windows does not improve visibility.
Small lego pieces which have passed through your digestive tract are no longer suitable as part of the millennium falcon battleship.
Thou shalt not love my mother more than you love me(traitorous little hound)
Wiggling your butt like a salamander while staring adoringly into someone's eyes will always get you what you want...but you already know that:rolleyes:
 
Trying to bite the cat's tail while in full pursuit will not make her like you.
Putting your cute feathered paw on my hand will not make me give you a piece of popcorn.
Jumping 3 feet off the ground does not guarantee you will catch the bird flying overhead.
Following me into the bathroom does guarantee some ear rubs.
Chewing the corners off the coffee table does not count as "adding fiber" to your diet.
Rubbing your face on the ground after you poop will not earn you a blue ribbon or anything.
 
ha ha :lol::lol: .
The (dirty)sock is not alive, so needs no wrestling and is not a soother to be sucked for days.
Running at the cat from inside the window really isn't effective.
Believe it or not your not as big as the saint bernard and taking him on mightn't be the best idea.
Nibbling 'your bitch's' ear generally results in a doggy slap across the face.
You cannot eat your own weight in food as much as youd like to try.
The kitchen table and chairs are not a climbing frame for you.
S:rolleyes:itting politely at the head of the table doesn't mean you'll get a plate of dnner too!
 
Bath tissue roll cores are only available for you to play with AFTER the bath tissue is off them.
You cannot always convince me to buy back my shoe with a treat.
The two pharses "weekend" and "sleep in" are intimately related.
 
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Thing's dogs must remember

The dogs barking on TV are not in your house.
You cannot smell with your tongue: air licking makes you look silly.
The dog you see in the glass fire screen is you. All your barking will not make her go away.
Just look at me with your big brown eyes and you will get anything you like!:luv:
 
Things dogs must remember...bit more

You are not the postman..you can not fit through the letter box!!
Rabbit poops are not chocolate drops.
The washing on the line is clean and NOT for dragging round the garden.
Mums bra is not for playing tug of war with!!!
The shoe lace you ate....Mum thought you had a tapeworm.
You are not the Andrex puppy.

Despite all this I absolutely adore all 3 of you and wouldnt swap you for anything. xxx:D
 
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